To Serve and Protect

URGENT!!!!

ALL A.S.S.H.O.L.E.'s PLEASE REPORT TO HQ!!!!!

In what seems to be in retaliation for yesterday's sting operation, thousands of disturbed and highly dangerous individuals have penetrated A.S.S.H.O.L.E.'s defenses and are leading an assualt with the aid of the ancient warrior Buuhan as their leader. With the force of a thousand screaming monkeys they have already passed our walls and have begun wreaking havoc. This picture at left shows the pandemonium they're currently causing on our base!!!!! What can be done? Their battle-cry rises up above the explosions and flames, "DEATH TO AZHOLIES!", a psychological warfare technique likely taught to them by the Irish Ninja of Legend whose existence can only be invoked once every thousand years, Dr. McNinja! Furthermore, our recon even shows Super-Endurant Spandex-Wearing Grandma is showing our forces a new meaning of the phrase, "War is Hell!" I regret this may be our last transmission ever. Agent OMNK2, it is in your hands from now on. For only one thing is certain... Our A.S.S.H.O.L.E. can't take much more of this pounding!

Today a long and arduous sting operation finally came to an end. After several years of hard work our force finally brought to justice the individuals who were causing great pain to the anime community by providing illegal mp3, manga and even subtitled video files.

It will go down in our department's history as the day when criminals going by the nicknames Oceanizer and Battle Franky, along with several other perpetrators, fell under the arm of justice and law. Here's a picture from the scene as the biggest perp of them all, Oceanizer was led away from the scene. His days of providing media and illegal translations are at an end.

Much of the thanks goes to our agents undercover who through laborious recon made this a complete success. Agent OMNK2 was particularly helpful in rounding up this motley crew and helping put them where they belong, behind bars.

Of course an A.S.S.H.O.L.E.'s work is never done and we've already begun looking into the personal files of other members' hard drives. We're particularly interested in the mysterious and villanous female known only as 'S' who is wanted in 7 countries for terrorist attempts on legal animation and anime distributors.

You can run evildoers. But you can't hide from the A.S.S.H.O.L.E.